Recipe for Trinidad Rum Cake

From the book Tales from Icebox Land by Queen Macoomeh
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Recipe for Trinidad Rum Cake
Ingredients:
2 bottles Old Oak Rum
Half dozen eggs
Vanilla essence
2 lbs white flour
Half cup sugar
1 cup mixed dried fruit (minced)
¼ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder or baking soda
Tools:
2 large spoons
1 large mixing bowl
Method:
Pour a glass of rum and sip it to see if it good. Take another sip to make sure the first sip was right.
Get the bowl and break two eggs in it.
Finish the glass of rum and pour another one.
Go and check to see if ‘All My Chirren’ start yet.
Call Marjorie and remind she to bring back de curlers she borrow last week when she come over for you to do she chevay tac tac.
Come back in de kitchen and finish break all de eggs in de bowl.
Pour a next rum, finish it and pour more.
Turn on de oven to any number you could make out.
Trow way de empty bottle a rum and pour de next open. Pour some in de corner to ward off jumbie.
Pour every blasted ting else inside de bowl and mix it with yuh finger. Wipe yuh finger on de kitchen curtain
Go and bake for de looking pan.
Oh shims Mardree ha’ dat too. Yuh remember yuh did never like she. She was horning she husband since last year wid dat gold teet jailbud name Bobuts
Get a posey and pour in de hole mess
Put it on top de stove and puh de egg shell in de oven
Any laniappe lef’ ova put in de fridge
Puh de head t’yuh head an’ ahmm, wait no puh de bottle to yuh drink to uhmm
*steupse*
Go and leh de tv watch yuh till yuh hear de smoke alarm go awf
Cake should come out like yuh dotish mudda in law own
Allow de cool to cake down an’ gorge yuhself.